


Congregation of Eurydice

by WMitone



Series: Congregation Of Eurydice [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Also inspired by my lore and world building as a future DM, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin, Background Fjord/Jester Lavorre - Freeform, Background Relationships, Background Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto, Background Yussa/Essek, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb going on a long adventure to retrieve Mollymauk and wins, Established Relationship, From his SPOUSE MOLLYMAUK, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), M/M, Married Widomauk, Other, POV Caleb Widogast, Temporary Character Death, The Mighty Nein are older and have been a group together for a decade now, They all live, Unless its to whack me for this supreme angst, my first work so please be nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:33:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WMitone/pseuds/WMitone
Summary: “Hi, Caleb.’’“Hallo, Molly.’’He remembers the taste of Molly's smile.(Orpheus and Eurydice AU, but it actually ends happily since everyone lives. Also, feat. Caleb angst, Widomauk angst, sad but sweet flashbacks, as well as a lot of home-brewed world-building and lore.)
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Series: Congregation Of Eurydice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042299
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	Congregation of Eurydice

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the Greek myth, Orpheus and Eurydice. A little bit because I added a lot of lore of my own to the point it's hardly inspired so WHOOPS. But let me give a quick timeline, The Mighty Nein have been a group for roughly 10-11 years now, Caleb and Molly were dating for 4 of those years, then married for 3 years. Molly has been dead for 2 years and a few months. Not only that, but this is canon divergent and hardly aligns fully to canon since I made a bunch of lore and world-building up from my notes as a DM. It ends happy since they all live I SWEAR.
> 
> Also, this is my first fic and not Beta-ed (since I couldn't find one lmao). 
> 
> Please comment and tell me your thoughts! Enjoy.

Caleb blinked slowly, lids heavy and eyes dry. He could feel the wood of the desk printing itself on the side of his cheek. Uneven ripples with a slightly rough exterior, if Caleb were to glide his hand over the desk he’d gain a splinter for his troubles. His eyes traced along the curled worn paper his arm laid upon. Blurred lines of black, intertwining, and cutting itself off that would seem to an outsider utter nonsense- yet it was the most precious thing to Caleb in this moment.

He sat up while letting out a deep breath to relieve the drag of sleep and leaning back into the wooden chair. His face, shoulders, and back sore from being bent over his desk for hours overnight. Resting his elbows on the arms of the chair, he took regard of the papers sprawled before him. Caleb raised his left arm to press his fist against his mouth in thought as he stared heavily at the research.

Thumb mindlessly turning the golden ring as Caleb’s brows furrowed heavily.

Caleb knew it was time.

It was time to begin the journey to Mollymauk.

There was a soft mew and soft thumping on the wood as it came closer to Caleb. He glanced down and watched Frumpkin making circles and figures through the chair legs and his own as Caleb brought his right hand down for the orange tabby to nuzzle into. While running a finger along the outline of Frumpkin’s ears, Caleb flicked his gaze back towards the age-worn scrolls and notes heavy with ink. He never knew he’d make it to this point after all this time. Two years running himself ragged nights on end, staining his fingers with ink and cuts from paper too crisp. As a man, he knew there is only so much power he has at his disposal. Caleb Widogast was a man whose knees are anchored to the stone, ready to bow and arch under the storms to come. Yet- he is also a man of hunger and greed when driven, a heat that overcomes him and sharpens the mind. Caleb Widogast  _ was _ also a married man. Caleb Widogast-Tealeaf has yet fully budded from the dirt but rather taken by it like it took Mollymauk. 

Caleb Widogast is driven, hungry to begin the chase, the ticks of time nipping his heels to begin the race to find Mollymauk.

Caleb Widogast-Tealeaf is also bare and hollowed. If one were to hold Caleb’s skeleton to the winds to whistle into, all that would sound are the cries and sobs Caleb dedicated to Molly’s name.

He gently shooed Frumpkin to the side as he pushed back into the chair to stand while he grunted. Bones creaked and joints clicked as he walked with feet heavy with sleep yet pooling with blood down the hall of their home. Lights flicked with flames as he walked past, giving long gazes at browned pictures framed by maroon-colored wood, of Molly and the fellow Mighty Nein. ‘ _ Soon. _ ’ Caleb thought as the word echoed and chanted softly in his head while creaking and scraping the wood in the hallway as he made way to their bedroom. He grabbed hold of the rust-licked knob, twisted it, and opened the door expecting. Yet every time his eyes flick about the room and behind the door, his chest dries up.

Not yet but soon.

_ 'Soon.' _ the word echoed again as Caleb’s eyes rested on the bed, made neatly this time for once. He walked over quietly as his eyes continued to stay on the left side closest to the window. Flopping down on the bed, he turned to face the other side of the bed as he curled his body some. The sun has yet to rise but the skies were soft with lavender and oranges. Mollymauk would always lay closest to the window knowing damn well Caleb hated waking up with the sunlight searing into his eyelids, any light in general when he wasn’t awake fully yet. So what Molly would do is lay on his side to curl into Caleb. Horn’s and body would keep the light at bay as Molly would always sleep deepest and wake last since the sun would soak into his skin and bones. Caleb remembers waking and blanketed in Mollymauk’s shelter, then reaching a hand out to gently glide his knuckles down the peacock tattooed jaw. Dark lashes would flutter as Caleb peered closer to see those lavender eyelids blink open to show him bright red eyes. 

“Hi, Caleb.’’   


“ _Hallo_ , Molly.’’   


Voices scratched and raspy from sleep yet heavy with endearment. A bitten fingernail carving into the golden band as he looked at the spot waiting for a miracle that he would have to leave home for. Heavy eyes drifted to the window blinking and Caleb thought of the tattoos along Molly’s back. How the rays of light would make the outline of Molly’s body glow as Caleb cowered behind flowers and constellations, forehead meeting Molly’s nape as he would rub circles into a warm, scarred belly. He knows how Mollymauk would look in the soft darkness. Limbs curled and tucked under blankets and pillows yet a pierced tail always wrapped around a pale ankle as if to anchor them both into the mattress even more. To anchor them both in comfort but safety, to quietly make known they were both within reach if the terrors of the mind or reality were to pull them in, the other would follow. Caleb can recall in full clarity how Molly would look sprawled or curled in the bed while sleeping. He knows how Molly’s hair would be splayed out across the pillow, dark tresses curling a bit at the ends to tempt a hand close. How Molly’s face would be covered and curtained away then wake up with a huff as he tried to move his hair aside, irritated if a few curls weren’t long enough to be tucked behind an ear or horn.

“Why don’t you use that hair growth elixir Jester and Veth made?’’

“Caleb, you are one of the most precious things in my life as well as one of the brightest persons I have ever met. But that is one of the absolute fucking worst ideas you have ever had-’’

“ _ Worst ideas _ \- Molly! I was just trying to give helpful advice to my  _ spouse _ was all-’’

“ _ Nein _ you cheeky bastard. That was a dangerous attempt to ruin our marriage because you  _ know _ for a fact that elixir takes a week to work and it smells like rotting hell. You don’t see me recommending that shit to you when you’re growing in your beard.’’

“ _ Ja _ because you said you like the stubble before it all properly grows in-’’

“Okay, now _ that’s  _ cheating-’’

“That doesn’t even make any sense whatsoever-’’   


“Your  _ face _ doesn’t make any sense-’’

He flicked Molly’s moon charm hanging off a horn for that comment. Caleb’s mouth twitching a bit thinking of that memory. Of how after flicking the charm Molly planted his palm on Caleb’s face and lightly shoved him back as they both laughed and teased one another, lightly smacking the other before foreheads met and happy pants of breaths were traded in exchange for kisses.

He remembers the taste of Molly’s smile. 

  
  


Caleb never forgot how teeth clicked against his own while dimples deepened further. How laughter would coat his tongue and the sound of his name wrapped in glee would echo down his throat into his lungs.

_ 'I don’t want a memory,' _ Caleb thought while watching the sky outside the window slowly turn orange as the purple faded. He let out a sigh as he scooted closer to lay on Molly’s side of the bed then flipped over to lay on his stomach while burying his face into the pillow. Eyes closing as he tucked his face into the pillow, then burrowed deep for a scent long gone and faded into the air and his lungs. A hand grips onto the sheet as he brings the pillow closer to his face, head almost fully enveloped as Caleb tries to trick his own mind. He could almost imagine it being a warm neck against his face rather than the cotton lining, could almost feel light ripples of thin scars than wrinkles of a pillowcase held tight. Legs twisting and tangling into the blanket underneath him, Caleb imagines legs wrapped around his own. As the corner of the blanket brushed against his ankle he hoped it would be the spade of a tail instead to anchor him into the bed. He breathed deeply into the pillow and tried to burrow for a hint of lavender.

But Caleb knew not to bullshit himself, a mind too sharp to summon memories into reality. Yet he could pretend one last time as he tried to tuck his senses into a memory of Mollymauk holding him close and tangled with his own body. Caleb just needed one last lie to take with him for the journey to carry him for a while. Sighing as he thought of Molly running a clawed hand through his hair as it brushed and scratched against his skull. A voice rumbling soothingly into his ear as Molly would murmur, “Mister Caleb…” The voice dragging his name out softly, “Handsome it’s time to wake up… _ I know I know _ , but you’ll complain later if we don’t get up now,’’ accent sharpened from sleep. 

He just needed this false comfort to encourage him. 

Caleb wanted to hide in the echo just for a bit longer before he left is all. No harm in that, he reasoned with himself.   


“Come on handsome. It’s time to get up.’’ The memory whispered as he felt the gentle brush of metal glide through his hair and caressing his scalp. He sighed as his face shifted in the pillow, pretending it rather be a shoulder marked in flowers and peacock feathers. He thought of grazing a kiss to that shoulder. “Time ticks and tocks only for itself Caleb,  _ chop-chop! _ You know it doesn’t wait around-’’ he heard Molly complain and whine as he finally sat up while rubbing a hand roughly at his eyes. Shifting his legs to fall over the sides of the bed as he faced the window and sighed to decompress yet summon up the strength to get up and walk out of the bedroom. Caleb looked down at the floor but threw a glance at the scrunched pillow and had a brief thought to press a kiss against the pillow but told himself it was a stupid one. He knows he’s a starved man when it comes to Mollymauk, whether it be to the real one or the one from his memories. But the intrusive thought came to mind, lightly coated in Molly’s voice “Why don’t you save those kisses for later, hm?  _ Soon _ Caleb.  _ Soon. _ ’’

_ ‘Soon it will be’ _ , his mind echoed in response as he stood up and walked towards the dresser and began to pack slowly then gaining speed. He mentally ran through a checklist while avoiding looking at the bed as he gradually made a pile of clothing sitting on top of the dresser then stopped as he looked at the side of Molly’s drawer. Caleb contemplated for a moment before picking out clothing for Molly to take along with him. ‘ _ Just in case,’ _ he reasoned as well as carrying hope in the thought before walking over to the wardrobe and opening it to reach deep behind suits and dresses to grab a dark maroon leather bag. He untied the bag while placing the clothes in before walking out of the room and grasping the knob. The urge to look at the bed was heavy but knew he’d be drawn in again as he closed the door behind him and startled as Frumpkin harshly head-butted his calf as he let out a shrill meow.

“ _ Ja _ , okay already. I’m packing now alright?’’ Caleb reasoned as he strode down the hall back to his office as his mind focused on the time left before any of the Mighty Nein rose up and came to knock on the door and check on him.

Frumpkin padded after Caleb, the little sun charm hanging off his collar lightly jingling filling Caleb’s trail with light noise. The familiar hissing while batting lightly at his wizard if Caleb lingered too long on objects filled with memories or murmuring with a tone heavy with anxiety and fear about the journey about to be unbarked on. Caleb knew what the others thought of Frumpkin, just a cat and that’s what the tabby was most certainly. But he was also  _ more _ to Caleb. Frumpkin is a familiar, a cat summoned from the fey wild to be by his side and to help do his bidding. That bidding comes in many shapes and forms.

Caleb is going to put in another request for his familiar to execute once more.

After packing the spell components prepared the night before into the bag, he walked over to the desk and looked down at the papers he woke up on earlier. Grazing finger’s along aged scrolls and rushed scribbles as he contemplated the research before him as he slowly shuffled them into a stack as Frumpkin hopped from the chair to the desk then making his way to a bookshelf beside Caleb’s work area. As the study was dimly coated with light from the candles on the desk, Caleb held the papers and scrolls in hand as his mouth tightened. He heard a light jingle as he glanced up to see eyes shine back brightly as they stared down at him.

Both man and familiar stared at one another till Caleb gave a stuttering nod.

_ They can’t find any evidence or leads, _ Caleb thought while stepping towards the fireplace as Frumpkin followed after, carefully hopping and stepping around jars and shelves. While in front of the fireplace, long unused and nothing but ash coating the walls, fingers tightened around the knowledge, the  _ proof _ in his hands that there was a possibility to go after those long dead. The knowledge he gained from this, would never die. Not ever, for Caleb’s memory. Yet it was hard to think to simply let it burn into ashes within his hands. His body was spent hunched over this work in his hands, his mind stretched thin and webbed across every nook and cranny of this world to learn to  _ seek _ every piece of possibility he could find, time was used for so long. So so  _ long. _ A little over two years dead isn’t a long time in reality. But Caleb is only a man, a mortal at that. Time only goes on until he dies. He always thought time could go fuck itself when others would tell him his grief would lessen with time. Time would not lessen the grief, time will grip onto a person in grief and hold them tightly within a gripping clutch. Time does not lessen grief nor pain but bring realities of the present. The present is continuous and the day and night carry on no matter what. Caleb knows he's temporary in this world, he's not eternal. Only a man at the end of the day.

While crouching down in front of the fireplace, he found himself almost at a standstill. He had power in his hands, he had something very very important that many would clamber for. That people would give up anything for. Caleb didn’t have magic in his hands, he didn’t mean that no of course not. Anyone can do magic and reach it. But a path to retrieve one from the dead? He had something richer than materials in his hand. Something to cripple the world, especially necromancy itself to his knees. Yet for that power this journey would be at risk of failure. Caleb only has this research in his hands because he's going after Mollymauk. Caleb would surrender power for Molly as his grip loosened around the documents. Caleb will always hunger for power yet he feels the same rush to his bones when Molly would simply give him a look and understand. Understand that Caleb is a flawed man and those flaws he continues to carry that never change with time nor friendship or love. Understanding Caleb is simply Caleb, all there is to it. It’s not a heavy rush through his blood that makes his body feel light. That type of understanding and love him and Molly gave to one another and created with one another, is one that settles like a heavy blanket. It’s soft and comforting while the weight is beginning to be noticed till the body is so relaxed but safe. Vulnerability in the most superior form.

Power is brittle to that in comparison.

Caleb heard a soft thump as Frumpkin landed on top of the ledge of the fireplace as said cat stared down at him as he looked up. The cat’s eyes were glowing a dark orange as the pupils were sharpened slits cut thinly. Frumpkin peered down at Caleb as he slowly crouched on front paws not breaking eye contact as Caleb sensed the tension of that stare. ‘ _ Do it _ ,’ those slitted eyes whispered, ‘ _ Or they will find out and all would be ruined. _ ’ that crouch warned as Caleb watched the orange eyes darken further. He turned his head back towards the fireplace while feeling the presence of his familiar grow till he thrust his hands into the fireplace while holding the papers in his hold as he willed flames to snap and catch onto the documents. Caleb watched as it was shredded to ashes blending in with the rest of the fireplace while noticing the swish of a tail above him and a rumble of pleasure as Frumpkin watched Caleb burn the papers. Everything was following as scheduled, no rocks in the road have caught on the ends of a boot yet.

Knees clicked as Caleb grunted while standing up and wiped ashen hands on his trousers, “There. Satisfied now?’’ Frumpkin gave a small chirp as he shook his head then grabbed the leather bag as he pulled out a wax-sealed envelope from the pocket of his coat. When Caleb walked out the door, light jingling followed after his lead down the hallway closer to the front door. Slowing to a halt, Caleb gave a labored exhale as he sat the envelope on the dark wood side table, next to the vase of wilted flowers. They used to be a colorful mix of red carnations and orange specks of butterfly weed. An absolutely atrocious bouquet of flowers but of the least  _ pretty _ to an extent, a combination made by Molly from Caduceus’ garden. Yet it was long wilted and crisp with rot.

While pressing a hand on the envelope, almost forcing his hand into the letter with too many pages he pulled his hand back thinking of the others. He has created a plethora of scenarios on how each of them will react and what actions they may do. They will try and come find him while he has already left. Caleb keeps his eyes on the envelope, a tugging in his chest that feels too loose to be even a battle worth fighting. The Mighty Nein will be safe and fine without him for a bit. It’s difficult to even think about leaving, constantly being around one another for a decade now. All of them older a bit, scarred from adventures and clashes but alive and happier than their younger selves ever were. Yet while the happiness is there, the absence of Molly even after two years is still heavier than ever.

But maybe Caleb could rectify that; make all of them perfectly aligned and together once more. He's sure he can do it. Almost an absolute amount of confidence about his ability to do so.

If the others need a wizard’s expertise, they can simply go to Essek since he's also a member of the group. Although often distant and busy due to matters attending to the Dynasty, yet still a dear friend nonetheless to them all. Essek would understand, maybe even know or have a hint of what Caleb is doing. Though maybe not all of them would understand what Caleb is doing or is about to do for Mollymauk, Caleb thinks Veth, Yasha, and Essek would understand the most. While Yasha didn’t have the advantage he has now, having made a map to the underground of the Catacombs of Corpora. A realm even out of the Raven Queen’s grasp. But Caleb knows deep in his bones, if Yasha hadn’t met Beau and had what he has in his mind, she would take to the earth after Zuala with no hesitation. He knows deeply, Veth would march after Yeza even if she felt afraid and heavy for Luc. But Veth is strong even when she is at her weakest points, Caleb has faith she would follow after Yeza and drag the soft-spoken man back above the earth. 

Essek would have a heavy understanding being with Yussa despite both of them having long lifespans, Essek would hardly imagine or comprehend a moment without Yussa by his side. Caleb would have at least the smallest of audiences who would understand when realization would fully settle in, the hints of his actions over the course of two years becoming obvious after all this time. But he knows they will understand at some point, no matter how soon or late that understanding may come, he hopes the letter is enough to emphasize the point.

As he steps closer to the front door he turns around and settles into a crouch as his muscles tense from the position. Frumpkin makes a quiet little noise as his furred head meets Caleb’s outstretched hands, nuzzling into loving pets and scratches. Caleb smiled down at the purring tabby while feeling his throat catch a bit. While scratching behind a soft ear, Caleb sighed to relieve his throat of the pressure crawling up.

“ _ Alter freund _ , I have to do this alone I’m afraid.”

Frumpkin made a small growling chirp and headbutted Caleb’s knee.

“I...It will be a hard journey on my own, Frumpkin. I am wary of what it will be and what will become of all... _ this.  _ I’m not so filled with courageousness or strength at the moment.”

The cat batted Caleb’s face lightly, paw almost patting his face in comfort.

“ _ Ja _ I know. I...I will do my best. If I may, Frumpkin, I have another favor to ask of you. That is if you are interested in making a deal?”

Amber eyes flashed bright blue for a moment as Frumpkin made a slight squeak, almost phrased in a question.

“While I’m… _ out  _ bringing Mollymauk back home, can you do me the favor of being the...man of the house while we’re both gone? I cannot bear to think of leaving the house without any guard or protection.  _ If  _ you are willing to accept the offer, that is.”

Frumpkin nuzzled his head under Caleb’s jaw and let out a rumbling purr that vibrated against Caleb’s own chest as Caleb felt the air become heavy and charged with heated energy. Rather than paying a full mind to it, he pressed a kiss between Frumpkin’s ears and murmured how good of a cat Frumpkin is, how important he is to Caleb and promising to bring Molly back home and promising to double the treats and pets from the couple.

After giving one last scratch on orange fur, Caleb stood up as Frumpkin slowly blinked up at him. Caleb nodded but took a moment of stillness, taking one final look at the decorated halls, before finally turning around and grasping the doorknob. He felt a slight bumping feeling on the back of his legs while the hissing became louder. “ _Gut dann!_ _Ja!_ I am leaving now... _scheisse_...little bastard…” Caleb grumbled as he unlocked the door and opened it to grey orange light outside his home as it cloaked everything in dimmed colors slowly becoming bright once more. As soon as he stepped out the door, it softly shut behind him and Caleb could hear the lock clicking while his shoulders became slightly less tense knowing Frumpkin will make sure the house is fine.

As he took a few steps forward away from the house, Caleb looked back once more while flipping the hood up over his head. The house was a modest yet proper fit for himself and Mollymauk. Enough space for them both to do their own hobbies or interests, enough room for any or all of their colorful family members to visit and spend time causing whatever mischief and ludicrous situations they ended up getting into. The house had charm, charm being it was a house of dark wood yet a narrowly pointed roof, almost looking like a house from a children’s story. Shutters painted orange, Molly explaining it had a piece of Caleb already ingrained in the wood. The house looked atrocious, comfortable, welcoming, strange, a very orthodox place to live.

“Caleb. This is  _ ours _ now.”

“Molly, it hasn’t even been 10 minutes yet since we  _ arrived _ . Why don’t we go inside first?”

“I know, I know! But- just imagine for a bit with me here. Step where I’m standing. Don’t give me that look! C’mere and look with me, handsome. I think you will get where I’m heading here.”

“Alright. Now show me your mysterious visions that are haunting you and keeping us from looking inside the house.”

“So imagine a garden…”

He took one more moment to drink the image of the house in, even if he's already had the image in his mind since him and Molly chose it. But it was only a house. Home has been far away for some time now, despite his own family, the Mighty Nein being part of that home, Mollymauk is a precious piece of home.

It’s time to go home, either way, no matter the outcome.

Caleb turned away and began to walk the trail through the thick of the woods, knowing it would briefly take him through town but eventually to the transportation circle he had hidden away in the forest. For now, he just needs to be hidden from anyone’s sight.

Caleb lightly tugged on the strand of embroidery on the inside of his wrist on the coat, as his image shifted out into transparency. Another gift from Molly.

“What’s the use of having showy tricks if it takes too much time and preparation? I know I’ve mentioned a bit that, ‘ _ Patience be a virtue _ ’ and such. But Caleb, why not have more tricks up your sleeve? Also, this is my anniversary gift to you, so happy times dearest husband of mine! Now, stand up and put this on! I want to see if I got the measurements right.”

“ _ Schatz _ ...don’t you think this gift is...I...thank you, Molly. You- well my gift is not quite ready yet I’m afraid. It’s a bit more complex than I thought it would be.” Caleb sighed while Molly slowly turned him around by the shoulders and tugging the dark blue coat around his body. Molly hummed, “Is that why you’ve been looking so restless lately? Don’t even think for a moment I didn’t notice those bags coming back under those pretty blues of yours. Take your time-  _ Shh! _ Don’t shush me on our anniversary!-  _ Take your time Caleb. _ I just want you to rest as I wait patiently but  _ excitedly _ in the corner for my gift, alright?”

As Caleb made his trip through the forest, mentally the clock in his mind continued to tick and the sky slowly became brighter with sunlight. By the time he was within the borders of the town, he quickly stepped around people on their way to begin their own day. He huffed a bit after making it out of the town and into the forest, breath lagging a bit due to striding with a fast pace to not get caught by anyone despite his invisibility.

_ ‘Almost there,’ _ he thought while stepping off the dirt paved path into the thick of the wood. While stepping around trunks and ducking and dodging branches, he could see the fractures of light on the ground that was able to break through the trees become brighter. Day has come just in time for his departure.

When Caleb finally made it to the medium stone slab, he immediately bent down to flip it over on the other side, showing carved lines and sigils representing a teleportation circle. He took a moment to breathe deeply, inhaling the scent of cool morning air with the scent of dirt and grass softening from the morning dew. Caleb took a moment to take a slow gaze at the trees surrounding him. He knows he wasn’t followed here. Yet he should not easily dismiss that easy thought, knowing his dear friends are always full of surprises. This time he's sure that he’ll be the winner of surprises if this ends successfully. If not, then Caleb can only hope for whatever end meets him, whether it be near or far, Molly will be within reach.

But Caleb, just purely Caleb in this moment, is absolutely terrified. He feels young and stupid all over again, he feels like Bren once more returning back into that wretched wooden seat with leather softened and worn but so so strong to hold him still and firm. Caleb feels like himself, the times he’s thought any of the Mighty Nein, himself included, were an inch away from sinking into the ground and let their bodies be taken away by the earth. Caleb feels as if his knees and spine may be his fall, while his breath trembles and shakes. 

Caleb feels young and stupid and absolutely scared in this moment. But he's not young, not old either, but on the cusp of his wisdom and personhood. Caleb certainly isn’t stupid, but merely making one of the riskiest decisions in his life. But he's afraid to be alone. It’s been a very long time since he was purely by himself. Being a widow did not brush the company of his family away, so he always has someone by his side. Be it Frumpkin, Veth, Beauregard, Fjord, any members of his friends and family, Caleb has always had someone by his side.

But Frumpkin has to watch the house and to symbolize to the others, Caleb  _ will _ come back home. The others cannot follow where he will go, because fetching Molly with his own person is simply insurance in case he fails. If Caleb could, he would bring any or all of them along. But he cannot, for reasons that make too much sense as well as make his shoulders sink more. He looks down at his ring, twisting it anxiously around his finger while tracing the carvings once more.

He could muster the courage for a bit longer he believes, while looking down at the ring licked with traces of ink. He can imagine for a bit, Beauregard and Yasha being here, one giving a clap on his shoulder and shaking him roughly saying,

“Come on man! You didn’t spend all this time researching to stop here. Go be a kickass dork already!”

As Yasha would give a gentle pat on his head maybe, but most certainly a soft word to offer,

“It is alright to feel hesitation towards your courage, even to feel terrified out of your mind. But what helps me be brave, is thinking of things I want to protect and fight for. I think...you and I know the answer to those things Caleb.”

Caleb rolls his shoulders back as the teleportation circle activates and glows. He nods to himself, a final thought to let his decision sink in then steps into the circle feeling himself fall through briefly, farther away from home yet closer to it than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe, some of the M9 live in the same town as Molly and Caleb. Because yeah.


End file.
